By: Jonathan Noble
When I entered the local hospital’s BMU (Behavioral Medical Unit) I knew, deep down in my soul, that I needed to be there. Being bipolar with major depressive and acute anxiety disorder can cause quite an emotional upheaval at times and scramble your mind, even with medication and coping techniques. What can I say? The situation in my sister’s home — my own residence for over three years — had become toxic; not specifically because of my sister, but because of her poisonous marital situation.
After asking (or telling, really) her degenerate, loathsome husband to leave, we literally went through hell together for the next week . . . but by the end of that week, she was ready, and even craving, to bring him back. She decided (again) that she just couldn’t live without him, and this completely incomprehensible feeling, along with her newly created perspective, quite simply sent me into a tailspin. And so, lo and behold, I ended up in the BMU at the local hospital. Really, I had emotionally, psychologically (and spiritually) invested myself in the situation to a far greater extent than needed, and certainly to a degree I could not handle.
My three-day stay in the hospital’s BMU was precisely what I needed. I was able to dis-invest myself of the whole horrid (and insane) situation of my sister’s marital relationship and its attendant, innumerable problems. Consequently, I regained a sense of peace and stability along with an overall better perspective on my whole life in general. By the time my attending physician/psychiatrist released me from the hospital, I was fully ready to return home . . . but only to discover that I was not going to go back home!
In order to have her husband move back into the home, my sister told me I had to leave (at least for the time being.) She simply said she decided to ask him to move back in so that they could “work on their marriage,” and concluded that this would not be possible with me in the home. Perhaps this makes sense. In an otherwise “normal” situation, I would dare say this would be valid; however, their situation was/is such that he should not have been invited to move back in . . . not at this point in time. In fact, at this point in time — and for the time being — my sister really should have very limited contact with him, which is originally what she had carefully and prayerfully determined. But she changed her mind, which she has every right to do (despite however foolish), and so I suddenly found myself on my way to the home of two very dear friends of our family.
I was shocked, stunned and deeply grieved, to say the least. I could not understand, and I was even angry. However, the home into which I entered is a home of love, peace, compassion and stability. This did not dawn on me until my second day here, but now I realize that I am situated in a place of quiet serenity and . . . hmmm, emotional-psychological safety. Yes, that’s it: emotional-psychological safety. And I have to say, truly God is good. What will happen at the end of this week, I do not know, but I would be quite happy staying here for another week! This really has become like a sabbatical for me and, thus, an unforeseen blessing.
As for my sister, I do not know, but I cannot allow my mind (and heart) to dive into the deep end of that psycho-spiritual cesspool again . . . which is why I am simply going to end my little personal story here, on an upbeat note. I am safe, sound and secure. I am at peace and I am even feeling more and more hopeful (hope-filled) as time chimes on! Perhaps you have experienced something like this in your life — or, at least, an unexpected blessing in disguise — and if so, then maybe you will want to share something about that with us. If so, then by all means, e-mail your story to Pax et Dolor at email@example.com (and don’t forget to include your name, or pen-name, and perhaps just a bit about yourself! Thank you!)
Blessings to one and all!
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